Comments on: The Dreaded S-Word

By: Janine Cate

Janine Cate — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 22:32:16 +0000

Shyness and social anxiety are more a product of nature than nurture. While personal experiences do make a difference, inborn personality is the deciding factor. If you are shy or an introvert, you can learn to “fake it” so that others don’t notice, but an introvert can NOT be taught to feel like an extrovert.

My oldest daughter who has never been to school is an extrovert. She speaks and performs with ease and enjoys it. My second daughter, who also has never been to school, is more an introvert. While she can speak and perform, it is not something she enjoys.

By: magda

magda — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 18:31:25 +0000

Hi, I’m a new reader, coming over from the Carnival of Homeschooling, but Jessica Sanders just touched on my pet peeve. I have to say that that girl with anxiety sounds just like me. I went to public school and graduate school and I still cannot speak to a small gathering of people without blushing, stumbling, stammering, and getting completely flummoxed (I quit grad school b/c I realized I’d never be able to teach a class or give an effective paper). Strange, though, I blame going to highschool and being so ridiculed by all the “cool kids” in hallways and in and after class for assigned public speaking assignments for making me nervous about speaking to other people. School kids are just as awkward, shy, and socially misfit as anyone. My best friend from high school would literally pass out (like fall on the floor in a faint) when she had to give presentations in front of people. She accepted that that was the way she was and took steps to correct the situation instead of blaming her parents for putting her in public shool where she had been ostracized for being different.

By: Anwyn

Anwyn — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 01:35:13 +0000

I was public schooled and still to this day struggle with anxiety in social situations. It is so important for parents to take stock of their child’s social behavior and address concerns, whether homeschooled or not. I don’t doubt that too much home isolation can work against a person’s group adjustment, for lack of a better term, but just group schooling by itself is not necessarily the antidote, as kids (like me) who go to school can still wind up with similar issues.

By: Venomous Kate

Venomous Kate — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 22:51:59 +0000

Most of the homeschooling parents I know go to great lengths to ensure their children have social contact outside the home. It’s actually a running joke among the h/s community about how much “schooling” actually takes place in the car.

Our kids participate in community sports leagues, music lessons, art classes, church groups, homeschooling co-ops, etc. We take them on field trips, which are often surprisingly more in-depth than those they’d take at school. Granted, I can’t speak for all homeschooling parents, but I’ve yet to meet any whose kids don’t have at least one activity outside the home, and quite often h/s families are among the most “going out” folks I’ve ever encountered.

So, I guess in all fairness, Jessica, I’d say that your friends parents may have slighted her if they didn’t prepare her to meet new people, feel comfortable in situations outside her own home/family, or have confidence in her own intellect sufficient to allow her participation in class.

Then again, perhaps she’s just an intrinsically shy person who would’ve been uncomfortable around others regardless.

By: JessicaSanders

JessicaSanders — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 22:15:35 +0000

I had a roommate in college who was homeschooled her entire life up until college. It was very difficult to get her to talk and open up because she just wasn’t used to meeting new people and interacting with them. She was a business major and had trouble doing group projects for her marketing classes. It was challenging for her to input her ideas and speak her mind in front of people she didn’t really know. She wasn’t used to asking her professors a question in front of a classroom of 200 people. What do you think of this of being homeschooled? I know it may be a unique circumstance, but she herself told me that she thinks that being homeschooled her is a main reason she has these social anxieties. How is she supposed to get a job in the business world and succeed without being able to put out her ideas and work with her coworkers without feeling intimidated?

By: Parker

Parker — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 17:49:33 +0000

The best response I ever heard to this was a homeschooler asking an interviewer – “Just what social skills do you think my son is going to learn from fifth grade boys that I would want him to know?”

By: Bill

Bill — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 07:04:55 +0000

I probably share many of your same beliefs. I think the important thing is to teach our kids to think for themselves. With my children I don’t want to shelter them from other points of view that differ from our family. I think it is best to expose them to these and be able to discuss the differences, and hopefully our family values win in the end. This I believe will produce a more stable adult.

By: Anwyn's Notes in the Margin

Anwyn's Notes in the Margin — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 05:20:43 +0000

Easing Back In…

Lest anyone think that blogging is a walk in the park, it’s not. It would be even less so if I cared about my traffic. It’s a difficult matter to find things over the course of the day (if you blog at night as I do) that are 1) relevant, 2)…

By: All AgitProp, all the Time...

All AgitProp, all the Time... — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 04:55:34 +0000

Incidentally……

I have recently received an e-mail from a fellow blogger (albeit a liberal, but nobody’s perfect) who shall remain nameless,……

By: Tim P

Tim P — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 01:38:26 +0000

I have to agree that the ’socialization’ argument does not hold water. However, I don’t look derisively at public or private schools either. In the final analysis I think that if parents are engaged and involved with their child’s education, if parents set standards & expectations and follow through, if parents look at their children’s friends to try to eliminate bad influences, that they can provide their children with a good education regardless.

As for inculcating children with morals or views the parents don’t agree with, well that’s going to happen any time they walk out the door into that big wide world without parental supervision and interact with others. The most any parent can hope for is that their teachings and example have made a
positive impact that their children believe and try to emulate as they find their own way, because there if their is one sure bet, it’s that children will inevitably, for better or worse find their ‘own’ way.