Because we’ve arrived at that horrible place. It is now not ok to say anything bad about anyone.

I’m not sure calling people names is ever a good strategy. But I don’t think he needs to apologize. We’ve managed to make something that used to be shameful a source of pride, and things that used to be a source of pride, such as good grades, are now shameful.

For all we know, that group took it as a compliment.

Name calling isn’t particularly helpful.

So, they were married, it would all be ok?

And, he graduated from college in 1975 and is saying stuff like “in my parent’s day”? C’mon.

What he should have done is refer to the behavior as foolish, given all the birth control options available these days.

Of course, that’s assuming that pregnancy wasn’t the object in the first place.

I’m sure my daughter, who got pregnant at 17, would take offense to it. I know I do.

Name calling is inappropriate - you are not going to influence anyone’s behavior by name calling. In fact, you squandered the chance to do so.

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Take offense if you will, but I don’t think it’s acceptable for teens to have sex. I don’t think it should be socially acceptable, and I don’t think we ought to be saying “Well, yes, it’s awful but let’s feel sorry for the poor thing.”

And I don’t give a damn if that means YOUR daughter or MINE.

Personally, I draw the line there, largely because it’s imprecise at best.

Slut:
–noun 1. a dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

[Origin: 1375–1425; late ME slutte; cf. dial. slut mud, Norw (dial.) slutr sleet, impure liquid]
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Referring to a person as dirty, slovenly, immoral, or impure rather neatly defines them as having engaged in conduct that fits that definition. Sex is none of those things, despite being wrong for children to engage in. It’s derogatory, not definitive, and it’s meant to label or shame, not clarify or illustrate.

Two wrongs don’t make a right…although three rights do make a left.
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Or me? Is it okay to call me that? I got pregnant while engaged to someone when I was 18 years old and had my bastard just days before my 19th birthday. Thank God I got pregnant before we were married or I may have ended up dead. It took that as a wake up call to get myself out of an abusive situation that was going from bad to worse. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like if my parents had called me a slut when I told them that I was pregnant. Again, I’d probably be dead, having felt that the only option was to stay in an abusive relationship.

Fast forward 20 years. My daughter, the bastard child, I guess is a slut too. She’s not married. She has a child. A child whom I cannot imagine my life without. The bastard slut? She hasn’t taken one single dime of government assistance since the day her child was born. She works her ass off to support herself and her child. I think that’s pretty admirable. But then, I don’t really think of her as a bastard or a slut.

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Oh, get off it. If you get knocked up as a teen it’s because you’re having sex. Well, I’ve got news for you: teenagers are still children. If they WEREN’T we could kick them out of the house.

Children having sex is inappropriate. PERIOD. That it resulted in a wonderful child (or grandchild) does NOT CHANGE THAT FACT. Yes, you love them — as I’d love my daughter if she got knocked up, too.

Hell, I was one of those teens having sex and yes I think that means I was slutty. I learned better. They will, too.

But that does not change the fact.

Sorry to break your little bubble over it — including you, WG — but:

Slut: a. A woman considered sexually promiscuous.

and

Promiscuous…2. Lacking standards of selection; indiscriminate.

Teenagers are NOT grownups. They have NOT developed good judgment (hence why we still consider them children who need us) and they do NOT know how to select a partner based on respect, love and commitment. They’re little hormone factories who just think they know what love is.

So yes, if your daughter — OR MINE — has sex as a teenager, regardless of whether she gets knocked up, she’s being promiscuous.

And if she does it with more than one partner, it’s slutty.

If that BOTHERS you, then note the “Venomous” part of my first name and realize I’m not interested in cotton coating reality.

I like sluts. Often, you can have sex with them.

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If the shoe fits…

Seriously though, you do NOT have the right in this life to be unoffended.

If whatever it is is true, suck it the hell up.
If it’s not, ignore it.

Grow up.

Well some they do and some they don’t
And some you just can’t tell
And some may will and some may won’t
With some it’s just as well

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I wish I hadn’t been slutty as a teen. I wish I’d had more respect myself and that I’d valued myself more.

Sex as a teenager was slutty behavior, period. Especially when all your friends (male and female) know that you “put out” almost before you did…

Even though it was because I wanted to be “loved”…

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I think the name “slut” implies multiple partners and casual sex.

Somebody being unwed and a teenager and pregnant doesn’t mean it was multiple partners that got them there.

And if you’re going to insist on using the term “children” to describe anyone under the age of, what, 20? God, the idea of calling a CHILD something as harsh as a SLUT seems… well, venomous, I guess.

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I’m a teen mom, got pregnant at 16 and had my daughter at 17. It was more embarrassing that I could sign her out of the hospital but I couldn’t sign myself out.

I did use the system for my daughter and I but I never took advantage of it. I have told her over and over that even though I love her to the end of the universe and back it would have been much easier if I’d had her later in life.

I have explained to her that I want her to do good in school (which she does now), go to college, get a great job, find out where she wants to live and have a career before she even thinks about settling down. I think she’s finally figuring out that this is a good idea, to establish herself, find out who she is, and not turn out like my sister (4 kids, 4 different fathers). I stopped at one. If my honey and I get married someday (which I’ve explained I won’t have another unless I’m married) we may have a child.

Miss Britt: Somebody being unwed and a teenager and pregnant doesn’t mean it was multiple partners that got them there.

You’re exactly right. I wasn’t sleeping with everyone under the sun. I had one partner and it turned out he was planning on getting me pregnant. I found out later that he got a friend pregnant about 5 months after I had my daughter. He’s a form of predator.

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slut, slut, slut. It is what it is.

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I’m glad people who are teenaged mothers or have daughters who are teenaged mothers have spoken up. I think they’ve added a lot to the discussion.

Several have said they wished that they hadn’t gotten pregnant or that their daughters hadn’t gotten pregnant so young, and no one will deny the beauty and value of a child, whether born to an old married woman or a young unmarried child.

And I don’t like name-calling, as I said earlier. But what about the disconnect between the reality of children having children and our inability to call it anything other than “bad timing” or “bad choices”? Should there be any shame? (I know, I know how hard their lives are and I don’t want to add to that. I’m questioning whether societal attitudes might reduce the number of too-young mothers?)

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But how much of this labeling is based on cultural norms? A century or two ago, it was common for teenagers to be married and parents. So we can’t say that it’s always been wrong for teens to be parents. There are many people out there who don’t believe in marriage (for whatever reason, there are many), and yet they have children with their committed partner.

At the same time, I’ve noticed something lately…and I’m not saying this about anyone here, it’s just a general comment… Most of the people who have been complaining about the adolescent nature of 20-somethings and the protectionist nature of our society also complain about the high rates of teen pregnancy and insist on calling teens “kids.”

Teen pregnancy rates are at the lowest they’ve been in decades. This is due to better education and better access to preventative measures and prophylactics (rather than emergency 72hr or 90d treatments). At the same time, teens are accomplishing more than they ever have before, entirely on their own. All one has to do is look at a recent trend towards articles in finance magazines which discuss the top 10 millionaires under the age of 30. Most of those millionaires started when they were 16, 17, 18, or even younger.

This is not to say that all parents should let all teens do whatever the heck they want, and it is, in the end, up to the parents to decide what is best for their son or daughter, but to say that all teens are still just kids and need to be protected is a bit heavy-handed.

On a different note, while I’m not going to say at what age I started having sex, because that’s my business, I do wish I had started earlier. I feel like I missed out on an important lesson on the topic of appreciating one’s body, and my issues could have been nipped in the bud much earlier if I had learned to be comfortable being naked with another person.

Kat’s last blog post..Game weekend

Late to the party but my .02 worth (.0162 adjusted for inflation):

It’s like I told a previous boyfriend - once you utter the “dirty” word, be it “asshole” or, you know, “slut,” the parties being addressed have shut down.

Think of it. If someone came up to you and said,

“Look, bitch — ”

Everything after that dash is nearly lost in the noise going on in your head because, MY GOD DID YOU HEAR THAT? S/HE CALLED ME A BITCH!

This is how I also explain to my children that “dirty” words are most inappropriate conversational language. Sure, nothing can replace a good “DAMNIT!” here and there, but in conversation, it tends to dominate the message.

Sorry for posting a comment on a long-ago post, but language always interests me. :o)

While I that it doesn’t exactly make for polite conversation, that doesn’t make it any less accurate.

If it’s used as a generic expletive well then the person who does lacks a little creativity.

But as a frank description? Sorry, if the shoe fits…

Margi, good point. Except that the legislator wasn’t talking to an unwed, pregnant teenager. He was at a Republican caucus talking with other adults there and said, specifically:

“In my parents’ day and age, (unmarried teen parents) were sent away, they were shunned, they were called what they are. There was at least a sense of shame.

“There’s no sense of shame today,” Liston continued, according to the The Gazette of Colorado Springs. “Society condones it. … I think it’s wrong. They’re sluts. And I don’t mean just the women. I mean the men, too.”