The Foreplay Will Now Begin!

by Venomous Kate

What kind of world are we living in if things like Sega’s new LoveTrainer can actually find a market?

Part Demolition Man, part mp3 headset, part yenta, the “LoveTrainer” — from Sega Toys, no less — bills itself as a “unisex sex enhancer that combines biofeedback training with the excitement of your favorite music”.

Did I mention the “sensuous voice commands” issued to clue-in the clueless? You’ll never be at a loss for ways to keep your hands and other appendages occupied with hits like these:

  • “The foreplay will now begin!”
  • “Please confirm the heart rate sensor.”
  • “Your stamina will now be tested.”
  • “The love making will now begin.”
  • “Following the beat make love much harder.”

Seriously, with a price tag of $79.95 I’m guessing you can find some crack-riddled whore to sit by your bed and offer similar suggestions at half the price. Throw in a pack of cigarettes, and I bet she’d hold your boom box for you, too.

[Via Gizmodo]

2 Responses to “The Foreplay Will Now Begin!”

  1. half that for some crack-riddled whore?

    “Here son, here’s the whole $80. Go getcherself a nice Irish girl.”

    *ducks and runs*

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