February 18th, 2009
Given the 1,079 pages of mind-numbing legislation, it’s no surprise to learn that the President didn’t read the economic stimulus bill in its entirety before signing it yesterday. As Kim points out, who has time to read something that long? In fact, the thing is so notoriously chock full of various allocations and spending items that it borders on unintelligible.
That, of course, would ordinarily be a ripe source of commentary and quips for comedians were we living in a country when it was still okay to make fun of politicians.
But such jokes are now verboten because they’re racist, don’t you know? No, really: just ask the folks at HuffPo who have their hemp panties in a wad over a cartoon in today’s NY Post which visually makes that very point. (Note the dead monkey.)
Yeah, it could never be a funny reference to the infinite monkey theorem, could it? Oh for the days when late night comedians, talking about this bill, could have quipped: “You think it takes forever to read the stimulus plan? Think about those thousand monkeys who had to slave* around the clock at their typewriters to come up with it!” (That’s how Gizmodo gets their blog entries, apparently.)
*Aw, gee. I just typed the word slave. I’m not supposed to do that either these days, am I?
UPDATE: Chris Muir explains how President Obama managed to read the bill in its entirety, line by line. (Drink alert.)
February 18th, 2009
I’m no economist. In fact, I can’t even claim to have taken an economics class. So if the following seems clueless and simplistic, please (nicely) help me see where my reasoning is wrong.
See, I’ve been thinking about how our childrens’ children will wind up footing the bill for this stimulus plan. And that got me to wondering… by the same logic, doesn’t that mean that WE have been paying for the FDR deals that helped our grandparents out of The Great Depression?
If that’s the case, perhaps there’s some kind of tie between being burdened with a previous generation’s debts and a tanking present economy.
In other words, did yesterday’s signing of the economic stimulus bill essentially seal the deal guaranteeing another, possibly greater, financial crisis for our grandchildren?
February 17th, 2009
As if I didn’t already find President Obama annoying enough, the man interrupted my daily TMZ viewing to announce he’d signed the economic stimulus bill.
My first impression: just twenty-nine days in office and his hair already noticeably more gray. Guess losing sleep wondering how to keep all of the promises made to different voter blocs with competing interests will do that to a person.
Then I felt bad for being so superficial, so I tried paying attention. After noticing that he was stumbling far more in this speech than ever before, I couldn’t help wonder if maybe even he was having a hard time buying the line of B.S. coming out of his mouth.
In case you are one of those fortunate enough to be employed — and therefore unable to watch either TMZ or the Obama show during the day — the gist of the speech was:
Blah, blah, blah. This here plan isn’t going to fix everything. Blah, blah, blah. Don’t expect miracles. In fact, we’re not sure if it’s going to fix a damn thing at all. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, we’re already working on a second stimulus bill because we realize this one is fucked up. Blah, blah, blah. Also, anyone who doesn’t agree with me is a weenie engaging in partisan politics.
Or something like that.
Meanwhile, the Dow Jones closed -297.81, a sign that businesses aren’t buying Obama’s blather, either.
Which just goes to show that you can put frosting on a pile of shit but it is still a pile of shit.