What kind of world are we living in if things like Sega’s new LoveTrainer can actually find a market?

Part Demolition Man, part mp3 headset, part yenta, the “LoveTrainer” — from Sega Toys, no less — bills itself as a “unisex sex enhancer that combines biofeedback training with the excitement of your favorite music”.

Did I mention the “sensuous voice commands” issued to clue-in the clueless? You’ll never be at a loss for ways to keep your hands and other appendages occupied with hits like these:

• “The foreplay will now begin!”
• “Please confirm the heart rate sensor.”
• “Your stamina will now be tested.”
• “The love making will now begin.”
• “Following the beat make love much harder.”

Seriously, with a price tag of $79.95 I’m guessing you can find some crack-riddled whore to sit by your bed and offer similar suggestions at half the price. Throw in a pack of cigarettes, and I bet she’d hold your boom box for you, too.

[Via Gizmodo]