Oh, sure, Libya’s on the brink of civil war, Moroccans are peacefully marching on this “Day of Dignity”, and protesters in Bahrain, Yemen and Algeria are urging massive change in their countries. But what’s making the headlines in the United States? Jennifer Aniston and Justin Bieber got new haircuts.
Yeah, we’re not shallow or anything.
Of her new hairdo, Jennifer Aniston is clearly relieved she’s no longer associated with the ‘Rachel’ hairdo, which she told Allure magazine in February was “the ugliest haircut I’ve ever seen”. Meanwhile, the tens of thousands of us who wore our hair in the ‘Rachel’ in the mid-90s can take comfort by noticing how Jen’s new hair makes her look shockingly like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s older sister (or mom).
As for Justin Bieber’s new haircut, which he says was inspired by Ellen DeGeneres’ cropped ‘do? He didn’t just go under the scissors to rid himself of that wretched comb-over look. Nope, he did it for charity.
“I’m giving pieces of it to different people,” he explained. “The thing is, we’re doing something special. We want you to donate it to whatever charity you want.”
See, that’s the difference between the U.S. and North Africa or the Middle East. There, the poor organize marches and protests against their governments even as their leaders turn armies against them. Here, the richest among us help the poor by donating their the floor-sweepings after their latest $750 haircut.