For years now, I’ve been an on-again-off-again smoker. Since I don’t permit smoking in the house, whether I’m “on” or “off” smoking is dramatically affected by the weather. In the summer when we’re spending evenings grilling on the deck and swilling cocktails, I definitely smoke more. Come winter days like today, when it’s freaking cold outside, not so much. Yesterday, for instance, I had a total of three cigarettes while today I haven’t had a single one.

When asked why I continue to smoke despite the known health issues and expense, my answer is always the same: it’s saves me a fortune in legal fees by keeping my hands too occupied to wrap around other peoples’ necks.

That argument doesn’t fly in California, though, where the little town of Belmont has gone so far as to ban people from smoking in their own homes.

Not surprisingly, habitually health-conscious California has been ahead of the curve on the issue, with several other cities passing bans on smoking in most units in privately owned apartment buildings, but none has gone as far as Belmont, which prohibits smoking in any apartment that shares a floor or ceiling with another, including condominiums.

Oh, sure. I know some of you rabid non-smokers out there are no doubt applauding, particularly those of you living in apartments and condos who’ve had to deal with the smell of your neighbor’s cigarette smoke.

But just remember: first they came for the smokers. Piss enough of us off and you’re going to see smokers starting to call for legislation that makes it illegal for you to cook smelly food, wear cheap perfume, clump around in high heels on hardwood floors and sing along with your radio.