Your Valentine Gave Your Computer VD

Her: “I sent you an email earlier with a cute Valentine’s Day picture. Why didn’t you respond?”

Me: “I don’t remember seeing an email from you today. Hold on, let me check…”

Her: “I know I sent it.”

Me: “Oh, I see the problem. My A-V program moved your email into quarantine. That file you sent is infected.”

Her: “No it’s not. I got it from a friend of mine.”

Me: “Uh-huh. Well, I re-scanned it and it says it’s got a Trojan in it. So I can’t open it.”

Her: “So, your A-V’s wrong.”

Me: “I don’t think so. So, what’re you doing today?”

Her: “Not much. Trying to figure out why my computer’s so slow today and keeps losing its internet connection.”

Seriously, do you ever get the impression that some people must actually have to work hard to maintain the state of ignorance which seems to come so naturally to them?

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13 Responses to “Your Valentine Gave Your Computer VD”
Comment by Mad William Flint Subscribed to comments via email
2008-02-14 16:18:49

That’s awesome! Some people exist solely for the amusement of others.

 
Comment by Anne
2008-02-14 18:40:50

Didn’t she get the 2,000 forwards warning about this?

 
Comment by Venomous Kate (admin)
2008-02-14 19:04:11

I’m guessing she was too busy trying to chat with all those people who sent her an email saying they were looking for a nice girl to chat with last night.

 
Comment by kimsch
2008-02-14 21:30:49

This is exactly why I didn’t send anyone an eValentine! And the reason I won’t be opening any either!

kimsch’s last blog post..Happy Valentine’s Day

 
Comment by Venomous Kate (admin)
2008-02-14 21:37:11

Yep. Not surprisingly, she’s the same friend who forwards email chain letters to me every week and cc’s me (and 6 dozen other people) on every joke anyone ever sends her… then wonders why I rarely respond to her 4-page emails in between.

 
Comment by Jeff
2008-02-15 08:15:12

Some people are only alive because it is not legal to kill them…

Jeff’s last blog post..Lusting For a New Computer?

 
Comment by Lisa
2008-02-15 10:42:27

Which would be why I call my boss a “technotard.”

This morning, he starts off by telling me, “OH! Somebody sent us a Hallmark Valentine, but nothing opened up when I clicked it! I have no idea who it was from!”

Then I have to explain to him how to REFRESH a web page. And then, how to CUT AND PASTE something. AND THEN how to make a bullet in ASCII.

 
Comment by Mad William Flint Subscribed to comments via email
2008-02-15 10:45:55

Gah. Reminds me of my Dad. Not knowing is one thing. But being so damnably proud of how ignorant you are about technology is something else.

 
Comment by Venomous Kate
2008-02-15 10:58:29

Lisa, maybe you should tell him the computer will run better if he licks his index finger and sticks it in one of the holes on the power cord.

 
Comment by kimsch
2008-02-15 13:30:57

Lisa, does he think that his computer came with cupholder?

BTW, I’d have him scan for viruses, that Hallmark eCard from “A Friend” is a virus from Russia…

kimsch’s last blog post..Happy Valentine’s Day

 
Comment by Drunkbunny
2008-02-16 11:19:33

Bwahahaha! That gave me a very good laugh!

I am so sick of stupid sappy email forwards that often include “I’d better get this back!”, have a questionable file attached, include a threat of 7 years bad luck if not forwarded, or a promise that Bill Gates will personally come to your house and give you oral sex if you forward it to 20 people.

Drunkbunny’s last blog post..Now let’s talk about ‘the other marrieds?

 
Comment by Venomous Kate
2008-02-16 12:08:23

Bill Gates giving oral sex? The whole thought of that’s enough to ensure I’d hit the delete button immediately. He is not an attractive man. Genius, perhaps, but not attractive.

 
Comment by Rom
2008-02-17 16:01:12

Lols that was funny!

Got lots of anonymous emails that I just trashed as some have very suspicious looking titles. Better safe than sorry - if only I could put a condom on my hard drive… lols :D

 

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