Travel Safety For Dummies

by Venomous Kate

The British Foreign Office is once again warning travelers to avoid Saudi Arabia, this time because a terrorist plot is believed to be in the “final phases of planning.” Their advice?

“If you choose to travel to, or remain in, Saudi Arabia you should take all necessary steps to protect your safety and should make sure you have confidence in your individual security arrangements.”

Anyone visiting Saudi Arabia should keep a low profile and avoid public gatherings, it said.

Travellers were also told to be vigilant, especially in public places popular with foreigners – such as hotels and shopping malls.

Is it just me, or do these warnings about the obvious put anyone else in mind of the old Sam Kinnison routine on the “root causes” of the starvation seen in late-night “save the Chiilllllldrennnn!” commercials. It went something like this:

Sam (screaming, as usual): “See this? It’s sand. Yeah, sand! You play in it. Lots of fun. You put in in a sand box and you build castles. But YOU DON’T FUCKING LIVE IN A DESERT, MORON! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!”

God, I miss Sam Kinnison.


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