Kerry: “…so, this morning before I woke up, I was dreaming I had the President’s hips right here. I know that’s why I flubbed that line the other day.”

Anonymous staffer: I always thought there was some kind of weird love-hate thing going on there. I wish he wouldn’t look at me like that, though.

Trying to demonstrate their bipartisanship, Kerry and a staffer wear their best Conservative Red Ties.

Kerry: “You know, after my success with the Christmas in Cambodia story, I was considering talking about Thanksgiving with the Taliban. What do you think, Bob?”

Staffer: “My name’s not Bob, jackass.”

“….so I told Theresa, of course we have to part our hair on the left, it’s how we identify each other. Bush has that whole ‘Skull & Bones’ thing going on, and we had to come up with something. I wanted to use this secret handshake, but the Kennedys thought it looked too much like grabbing a woman’s boobies, and that’s their thing.”

Ok, so it’s Ned Lamont. He looks like he should work for Kerry, though. :p

“Domo Arigato, Mister Roboto…come on, Ned, do it with me. It’s like this.”

That hat just slipped through my fingertips.

“I’ve got a vise grip lock on the Republican election chances.”
“but there’s nothing there sir.”
“exactly.’

“…and go get Ted Kennedy a drink, a big one, right away.”

KERRY: Then I jumped out from the shadows and grabbed that rethuglican’s head like this…..

BUTBOY: Gee Mr. Kerry you really are a hero!