Spank Google and Win Flowers!
An haiku in honor of yesterday’s Google spanking:
First, do no evil:
Google’s promise long ago.
Then they made money.
Are you still licking your wounds after being thrashed by Google yesterday?
Here’s a fun way to cheer up and win free flowers!
That’s right: Electric Venom and the folks at Flora2000 - Premium Flowers Worlwide have teamed up to bring you this contest, with the lucky winner getting a prize of $80 in free flowers delivered anywhere in the United States WORLD!
Send roses to your roommate, or to me. How about an iris for someone in Israel, or for me? Snapdragons for someone in Saigon, or for me? You could order gardenias for your grandma in Greece, or for me. How about an azalea for your auntie in Aruba, or for me? Maybe you’d rather have a bouquet delivered down the hall to your boss, or to Kansas just for me? Well, as you can see, the possibilities are limitless! And, no, you don’t have to send them to me.
How do you get in on the action? The rules are simple:
1. Write a haiku about Google. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, it doesn’t matter: just make sure you stick with the format.
2. Leave your haiku in the comment section along with a valid email address so I can contact you if you’re the winner. (Your email will not be shared with anyone else.)
3. Enter as often as you like, but only ONE entry per comment.
4. The winner will be announced Monday sometime before midnight (Central U.S. time.)
What are you waiting for? Have at it, folks!
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My page rank equals
what I think of Google ranks.
My rank is zero.
I remain the same
Google spanking me
hard hit is hollow
Adsense was once cool,
Then you canceled my account,
I clicked on my ads.
Your stock is so high,
How can I afford any?
Ya’ll are so damned rich. >:O
Such a humble start,
Won’t you please give me money
I swear I won’t compete.
Googles number one
These haikus are hard to write
Undeniable.
Google - bla bla bla
Let me win all those flowers
They’re for my girlfriend.
Lori your haiku is wrong and it sucks anyway.
Google claimed “We’re nice!”
My page rank was way too low
Then they reamed me hard
My page rank was three
Such a lovely little three
Now it is one. Sad
Google stole my rank!
I was getting lots of cash
then Google got mad
Now stuck in our chairs
plotting revenge on Google
but Google just laughs
My Dearest Google;
I hate you so hard, right now.
From; Bluepaintred’s blog
Kate asked for haikus
Some people wrote more than one
I think that’s cheating
Kate said quite clearly
Enter as much as you like
But one at a time.
Yes Kate was quite clear
unlike that nasty Google
who broke all our hearts
I love you, Google! (or, loath!)
Let me count the ways: Fourteen
Thousand in two seconds….
Actually, my haiku is a series and will best be read consecutively. Here’s hoping no one posts in between and breaks the flow! ^_^;
I have used Adsense,
haven’t even been paid yet
made money else where.
Just when I began
to get a steady income
my site’s PR dropped
Heaven forbid that
the peon should pay the bills
let her be smited.
Google has spoken
Joana’s income is gone
that is Google’s law.
Life On The Planet,
my site, is ad free, and so
Google matters not.
I feel pain for those
who have lost money because
Google is greedy.
Now I fear the change,
Which is good, because Google
Took all my money.
What flowers would I
Send to Google? No matter,
As long as they’re dead.
On further thought, I
Think I might have to find a
Florist with these ones.
Sell your links, get smacked.
Google wants relevant posts.
Bull, Google wants money.
Whoops, missed a syllable. Here’s a different one.
Unethical Twerps
Google Page Rank is useless
Switch back to Yahoo
seven stinking chimps
flinging poo at each other
we work for google!
google is satan
deliver us from evil
go play outside now
I gave Google clicks.
And then they gave me Anal.
Lost my Page Rank, Pricks.
The best one ever…..
Ads Make Sense AdSense
Words Make Ads Just Like AdWords
Screw Google Use LinkWorth
Sorry I can’t count, I’ll try again:
Google gives me gas
Let’s build a new search engine
Call it Beano com
google only cares
about making cash, piss off!
google can bite me
I tried!
Obviously, I can’t enter my own contest. But, if I DID it’d be:
Christmas will suck here.
Google destroyed my income.
Die you mo-fos, die.
Targeting Solution
The applications
should do no evil, yet are
wicked Google’s spawn.
They said “do no harm”
Altruistic brainy boys
Playing with our lives
Write quality posts
Do not give page rank away
Linking to myself
A different day
PR dropping through the floor
Death of thousand cuts
Do you even care
What you have just wrought on us
Do you even know
Substandard search engine
Does not know its own rules yet
No longer a choice
Take your tasteless ads
Stick them where the sun shines not
Color yourself brown
Search on my brother
For it matters not one whit
Just boycott Google
Place gadzillion zeros
After two heartless bastards
And you have Google
What was it I did
No follow, do follow
Maybe linky love
Toolbar sans Google
For cleaner, better results
No more search for you
For links that are sold
To Make Us Bloggers Money
This sh!t ain’t funny!
Text link companies,
Google wants to buy you out.
Monopoly!
Google was a firm
Its engine indexed the Web
Now it’s just a verb
Google rules the net.
I watch my page rank tumble;
My tears fall like rain.
Google bites tinfoil.
It’s teeth writhe in agony YES
Watch your stock dive SCUM.
Google lives no more.
My bookmarks are deleted
My logins all gone.
I long for Google,
To be subjected awake.
Colonoscopy.
An algorithm
Determines your Google worth
Not here, stocksuckers
Poor Venomous Kate
How will you ever choose Which
one will win or lose
Don’t be mad at Google
That is not good for your soul
Boycott Google now
spank the google pagePrank! Let’s hope it’s all a temporary prank it’s playing on us!