Spank Google and Win Flowers!

by Venomous Kate

An haiku in honor of yesterday’s Google spanking:

First, do no evil:
Google’s promise long ago.
Then they made money.

Are you still licking your wounds after being thrashed by Google yesterday?

Here’s a fun way to cheer up and win free flowers!

That’s right: Electric Venom and the folks at Flora2000 – Premium Flowers Worlwide have teamed up to bring you this contest, with the lucky winner getting a prize of $80 in free flowers delivered anywhere in the United States WORLD!

Send roses to your roommate, or to me. How about an iris for someone in Israel, or for me? Snapdragons for someone in Saigon, or for me? You could order gardenias for your grandma in Greece, or for me. How about an azalea for your auntie in Aruba, or for me? Maybe you’d rather have a bouquet delivered down the hall to your boss, or to Kansas just for me? Well, as you can see, the possibilities are limitless! And, no, you don’t have to send them to me.

How do you get in on the action? The rules are simple:

1. Write a haiku about Google. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, it doesn’t matter: just make sure you stick with the format.

2. Leave your haiku in the comment section along with a valid email address so I can contact you if you’re the winner. (Your email will not be shared with anyone else.)

3. Enter as often as you like, but only ONE entry per comment.

4. The winner will be announced Monday sometime before midnight (Central U.S. time.)

What are you waiting for? Have at it, folks!

60 Responses to “Spank Google and Win Flowers!”

  1. My page rank equals
    what I think of Google ranks.
    My rank is zero.

  2. I remain the same
    Google spanking me
    hard hit is hollow

  3. Adsense was once cool,
    Then you canceled my account,
    I clicked on my ads. :(

  4. Your stock is so high,
    How can I afford any?
    Ya’ll are so damned rich. >:O

  5. Such a humble start,
    Won’t you please give me money
    I swear I won’t compete.

  6. Googles number one
    These haikus are hard to write
    Undeniable.

  7. Google – bla bla bla
    Let me win all those flowers
    They’re for my girlfriend.

  8. Lori your haiku is wrong and it sucks anyway.

  9. Google claimed “We’re nice!”
    My page rank was way too low
    Then they reamed me hard

  10. My page rank was three
    Such a lovely little three
    Now it is one. Sad

  11. Google stole my rank!
    I was getting lots of cash
    then Google got mad

  12. Now stuck in our chairs
    plotting revenge on Google
    but Google just laughs

  13. My Dearest Google;
    I hate you so hard, right now.
    From; Bluepaintred’s blog

  14. Kate asked for haikus
    Some people wrote more than one
    I think that’s cheating

    :)

  15. Kate said quite clearly
    Enter as much as you like
    But one at a time.

  16. Yes Kate was quite clear
    unlike that nasty Google
    who broke all our hearts

  17. I love you, Google! (or, loath!)
    Let me count the ways: Fourteen
    Thousand in two seconds….

  18. Actually, my haiku is a series and will best be read consecutively. Here’s hoping no one posts in between and breaks the flow! ^_^;

    I have used Adsense,
    haven’t even been paid yet
    made money else where.

  19. Just when I began
    to get a steady income
    my site’s PR dropped

  20. Heaven forbid that
    the peon should pay the bills
    let her be smited.

  21. Google has spoken
    Joana’s income is gone
    that is Google’s law.

  22. Life On The Planet,
    my site, is ad free, and so
    Google matters not.

  23. I feel pain for those
    who have lost money because
    Google is greedy.

  24. Now I fear the change,
    Which is good, because Google
    Took all my money.

  25. What flowers would I
    Send to Google? No matter,
    As long as they’re dead.

  26. On further thought, I
    Think I might have to find a
    Florist with these ones.

  27. Sell your links, get smacked.
    Google wants relevant posts.
    Bull, Google wants money.

  28. Whoops, missed a syllable. Here’s a different one.

    Unethical Twerps
    Google Page Rank is useless
    Switch back to Yahoo

  29. seven stinking chimps
    flinging poo at each other
    we work for google!

  30. google is satan
    deliver us from evil
    go play outside now

  31. I gave Google clicks.
    And then they gave me Anal.
    Lost my Page Rank, Pricks.

    The best one ever…..

  32. Ads Make Sense AdSense
    Words Make Ads Just Like AdWords
    Screw Google Use LinkWorth

    :D

  33. Sorry I can’t count, I’ll try again:

    Google gives me gas
    Let’s build a new search engine
    Call it Beano com

  34. google only cares
    about making cash, piss off!
    google can bite me

    I tried!

  35. Obviously, I can’t enter my own contest. But, if I DID it’d be:

    Christmas will suck here.
    Google destroyed my income.
    Die you mo-fos, die.

  36. Targeting Solution

    The applications
    should do no evil, yet are
    wicked Google’s spawn.

  37. They said “do no harm”
    Altruistic brainy boys
    Playing with our lives

  38. Write quality posts
    Do not give page rank away
    Linking to myself

  39. A different day
    PR dropping through the floor
    Death of thousand cuts

  40. Do you even care
    What you have just wrought on us
    Do you even know

  41. Substandard search engine
    Does not know its own rules yet
    No longer a choice

  42. Take your tasteless ads
    Stick them where the sun shines not
    Color yourself brown

  43. Search on my brother
    For it matters not one whit
    Just boycott Google

  44. Place gadzillion zeros
    After two heartless bastards
    And you have Google

  45. What was it I did
    No follow, do follow
    Maybe linky love

  46. Toolbar sans Google
    For cleaner, better results
    No more search for you

  47. For links that are sold
    To Make Us Bloggers Money
    This sh!t ain’t funny!

  48. Text link companies,
    Google wants to buy you out.
    Monopoly!

  49. Google was a firm
    Its engine indexed the Web
    Now it’s just a verb

  50. Google rules the net.
    I watch my page rank tumble;
    My tears fall like rain.

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