Wanted: Your One-Liners. Reward Offered.

Since I continue to suffer from a curious mixture of blogger’s block and an emotional bankruptcy that Leelu has aptly described as “bone crushing”, I figured it’s time to turn this blog over to better minds than mine… at least for today.

So, my Venomites, riddle me this:

Q. Why did the chicken cross the street?

(Answer in the comment section. The answer that makes me laugh the most gets a $10 Amazon Gift Certificate or, for the other-minded, a $10 donation in their name to the non-political charity of their choice.)

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32 Responses to “Wanted: Your One-Liners. Reward Offered.”
Comment by jae
2008-08-16 18:47:01

Because they had gas for only two BAWKS!

(just remember, you asked…)

jaes last blog post..Cleaning day

 
Comment by Donna B.
2008-08-16 19:16:12

Because the chicken was tired of crossing the road.

Donna B.s last blog post..Secret To A Youthful Long Life

 
Comment by Art M.
2008-08-16 19:36:14

It saw the Jay walking…

 
Comment by A Cowboy's Wife
2008-08-16 20:54:09

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!

 
Comment by A Cowboy's Wife
2008-08-16 20:54:43

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

 
Comment by A Cowboy's Wife
2008-08-16 20:55:38

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

 
Comment by A Cowboy's Wife
2008-08-16 20:56:22

Is one sentence a one liner??? LOL Thinking about you sug;)

 
Comment by ben
2008-08-16 22:33:53

Al Sharpton: Why is the chicken white, anyway? This is a symbol of four hundred years of oppression…

bens last blog post..Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, RIP

 
Comment by infidel
2008-08-17 01:55:59

To show the possum how its done

 
Comment by Tai-Tai
2008-08-17 09:10:57

So I could cook him for dinner.

 
Comment by Timmer
2008-08-17 12:52:53

Because Colonel Sanders, Popeye and some guy named “Church” was chasing it with a cleaver.

 
Comment by Timmer
2008-08-17 12:54:30

Obama: Because the chicken understood the need for change and hoped that the other side would bring unicorns and kittens and bunnies for all

Timmers last blog post..Employed!

 
Comment by Jeff
2008-08-17 13:18:29

To get laid… of course!

Jeffs last blog post..Soiled Shorts

 
Comment by Brian J.
2008-08-17 14:40:12

Because he thought the street had once dropped a dime on the chicken for another heist they’d undertaken before the chicken went to prison.

Brian J.s last blog post..Right-Wing Polemic Books Are Pornography; Left-Wing Polemics Are Michelangelo’s David

 
Comment by Donna B.
2008-08-17 16:05:50

infidel, in Texas, it’s to show the armadillo how it’s done.

 
Comment by Steve
2008-08-18 06:59:23

MICROSOFT TECH: We have never seen the chicken crossing the road in any of our Vista testing so it must be a problem with your road “driver” software. We recommend contacting your road developer and downloading updated drivers. We do NOT recommend moving to Linux or MAC chicken systems (CSs).

Steves last blog post..The R-Word and the Olympics

 
Comment by Steve
2008-08-18 07:03:35

Michelle Robinson-Obama:
The chicken crossed the road in order to “…further [its] integration and/or assimilation into a white cultural and social structure that will only allow [it] to remain on the periphery of society; never becoming a full participant.”

Steves last blog post..The R-Word and the Olympics

 
Comment by neal white
2008-08-18 08:46:57

It was stapled to the elephant

 
Comment by Will Wallace
2008-08-18 09:48:44

Because the chicken had too much character to double-cross the road– but something had to be done

 
Comment by wg
2008-08-18 10:11:46

Because, as a good practicing Catholic chicken, it understood the risks.

 
Comment by metal dad
2008-08-18 12:49:41

Foghorn Leghorn said, “to have a ball.”

metal dads last blog post..Theological Thought of the Day

 
Comment by Owen
2008-08-19 10:15:46

…to get to the other side.

Don’t think anyone even mentioned that, but it’s obviously because he wanted to get to the other side. Why else would a chicken cross the road? Why, I remember last time I crossed the road was because I wanted to get to the other side. Okay, there was a group of people with microphones gathered around a chicken, who was trying to get across the road (And I do recognise some of the commentators above from that crowd) But all the poor chicken was trying to do was get to the other side. He wasn’t itnerested in making a political statement, making people laugh, or protecting the rights of the Colonel’s chickens. All he wanted to do was get to the other side and get on with his life.

Sheesh!

Owens last blog post..Congratulations, BenSpark is off to Vegas!

 
Comment by Will Wallace
2008-08-19 10:55:59

because he was a chinese chicken and was forced to relocate so they could build the olympic venues

 
Comment by Timmer
2008-08-19 19:56:46

Because chickens make lousy housepets.

 
Comment by Pattie
2008-08-20 14:03:17

To commit murder most fowl.

Patties last blog post..21 Days Later

 
Comment by rodney dill
2008-08-21 07:48:48

The Domestic Barnyard Fowl Anti-Defamation League protests the use of a euphemism for ‘cowardly’ for a Barnyard Fowl on your blog and demands an immediate retraction.

 
Comment by rodney dill
2008-08-21 07:53:23

Q: Why did the Chicken cross the moebius strip?
A: To get to the same side.

 
Comment by rodney dill
2008-08-21 09:13:44

…the chicken was taped to John Kerry

 
Comment by Will Wallace
2008-08-21 12:18:34

because there’s always gonna be some dumb cluck paying in traffic

(sorry)

 
Comment by Brian J.
2008-08-21 16:00:34

Because it was calling Mr. Mason’s office every fifteen minutes seeking representation. Oh, sorry, that’s how the chicken made Ms. Street cross.

Brian J.s last blog post..I See CB and Raise Him

 
Comment by rodney dill
2008-08-21 19:23:07

…to hurdle the armidillos

rodney dills last blog post..Caption Contest Winners

 
Comment by Brian J.
2008-08-21 20:12:32

Because Father Poultry crossed all of the first communicants. He’ll cross the street again next Sunday, too.

Brian J.s last blog post..I See CB and Raise Him

 

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